Couch Potato
by DevilLlamaChan
Summary: Crack!Fic: "When the Doctor regenerates, his older self isn't gone, he just stays home and watches his current self on the TV." Inspired by di0br's video, Tenth Doctor: The Musical. :   x


**A/N: This story is dedicated to di0br from Youtube who's lovely video "Tenth Doctor: The Musical" inspired this story, as it follows her idea of: **_**"I liked it so much that I'm accepting it as my new personal canon now: when the Doc regenerates, his older self isn't gone, he just stays home and watches his current self on the TV. ;)" **_**Go check her out!**

**Hope you all enjoy! :3 xx**

_xxx_

Couch Potato

There is always something distinctively odd about watching yourself on TV. You just sit there and marvel how you're on the screen of, not just your own television, but thousands and possibly millions of other peoples as well. It's an amazing, but odd, feeling of euphoria that so many are taking their time to watch _you. _However, this scenario is quite different.

The Doctor isn't feeling pleased at watching himself on the TV, because it isn't really _him. _Well, it is but it isn't. Different body and face but same person inside. And what a new face it was. The tenth Doctor was young, energetic and care free. Brown mop of hair with matching brown eyes, a young boyish face. Now, the ninth Doctor wouldn't say he was jealous, a bit bitter maybe but not jealous.

Nine just didn't think it was fair that _he_ hadn't had as many series, or companions, as Ten nor did he "get the girl" in the end, however that was unfair because Ten wasn't awarded Rose Tyler either. Moving on swiftly, he was beginning to think all his fans had forgotten him and replaced him with this younger, and lets just say it, more attractive model of himself.

Nine sighed as he watched Ten run around on screen, he was inside the TARDIS fiddling with the switches as Rose clung on for dear life. He placed an elbow on the top of his knee, he'd seen this series before but the BBC was replaying them on the lead up to Ten's last few episodes.

Nine had to say Ten had been doing a very good job after he'd taken over.

Bored with normal TV, Nine plugged in the DVD player and selected a disc from one of his Doctor Who box sets. (He wasn't vain, just curious.) An image of Rose flashed on screen as one of the episodes showed her unzipping her jacket after screaming about her new chav status. Nine widened his eyes, his ears moving as well.

Now he was jealous.

Using the remote control he switched to a different episode. Cybermen, Daleks all manner of creatures he'd faced flashed up on screen, Nine shifted his position on the couch and straightened as Rose disappeared off screen in a bright white light leaving Ten clutching to a lever. Nine leant forward. It was Rose's last episode as the Doctor's companion. His heart clenched in his chest as he saw her crying, smacking the wall that had divided her between herself and well, him really. Ten was equally as sad and Nine recognised the expression on his face and was quite literally devastated. Now it was odd to feel sorry for a different version of himself instead of _himself._

But…Nine was at a loose end. He swallowed slowly as he blinked the non existent tears away from his eyes. Maybe he liked Ten after all, the man had guts and Nine really couldn't resist the temptation to love himself when it was just so _easy._ (Maybe he was a bit vain after all.) Then Ten's crying face leapt on screen and Nine had to quickly skip it before he broke down into his own tears. Like I said, he'd seen this series once before, when he was bitter about being thrown away by Russell T. Davies and he'd drunk as much alcohol as he could to rid himself of his feelings so everything became a haze.

Now Nine had switched the DVD with one from a different box set, these episodes about Ten's new companion Martha Jones. He liked her, she was smart and witty but also very, very love struck…with him. Well Ten, but you know. It had to have been the new face, not many women had looked his way when he'd walked amongst the British public suited with his trusty black leather jacket. Oh no, it was all suits and long coats now. Nine rolled his eyes, what would it be next; bowties?

A few episodes into the Martha Jones Arc, Nine found a familiar face. Captain Jack Harkness. Class A flirt and a surprisingly good kisser, although Nine really didn't want to think about that. (And the birth of Doctor and Jack Slash fic.) But it made Nine chuckle as Jack's resurrection tore a shriek from Martha while Ten rolled his eyes, nope Jack hadn't changed much; but he himself had and Nine wished briefly he could see Jack again. He was quite lonely sat in this house in the countryside away from most people, and the weird neighbours next door, most of them older men, sharing the house. It had taken Nine quite a few weeks before he realised they were technically his Father's, older versions of the Doctor from when Doctor Who was in black and white and the special effects were pants.

But that's a different story.

Back to watching Jack on screen Nine grinned to himself as the episode played on, although his blood ran cold as the _Master _appeared on screen. If he was honest Nine was scared of him, which is why he was beginning to like Ten for, again, his guts for facing the Master and numerous other attributes. Nine had been comfortably laying on the couch up until this point when the kind old man changed into a young version, much like his own predicament, and sat forward, confusion on his face. (And general what-the-hell-ness.) Blimey, was Russell replacing everyone with youngsters now?

Nine was gripped now. No wonder the show had so many fans, the last episodes of this series was very nail biting. The Master, as always, was cunning and ruthless, Ten was good…great actually and he felt a beam of pride overcome him. Maybe it wasn't _too _bad to watch yourself on TV. That is, until Ten started crying again and Nine became uncomfortable, he didn't like watching himself cry. It got even worse when Martha left, and the lovely lady from the Christmas Special vanished too. Russell was really being harsh on Ten.

That is, until he was reunited with the copper bride from another special, Donna Noble. Different box set, different companion. Nine had to say that she was his favourite by far, apart from Rose of course. Each episode pulled laughs from him, the witty banter between the two was very amusing. Ten looked happier than he had since Rose had been lost to him, it was good to see. And Nine realised the ache in his own chest had been eased as well. However, his Doctor Who marathon was ended abruptly.

Nine turned to inspect the offender holding the TV remote hostage and was surprised to see a little boy stood there. Oh, he had forgotten. He was babysitting for the couple next door, they'd gone out for the day leaving Nine with their child, he didn't mind so much. Children seemed to like him, and he got paid as well as the fact that the couple didn't know who he was. He saved the remote from the boy and shooed him away, pointing him towards his pile of toys in the corner, the little boy was happy to move. Free from capture, Nine pressed play on the remote and resumed watching the Doctor/Donna Arc. (Funniest series by far.)

_xxx_

Tea break. Nine could only watch so many episodes of himself before getting tired, and a little hungry. His charge, the little boy, agreed with him as he yawned while eating his sausage and mash. Which is really the only thing Nine can cook properly without burning it. The boy seemed to like it and cleaned his plate, he was curled up on the couch when his parents arrived to pick him up and Nine was all too happy at being paid in human currency, it was an interesting experience and surprisingly satisfying.

x_xx_

New day, new episode. The Doctor didn't really need much sleep but he was tired so he slept in, waking to the postman's letters; the little noise making hope take over him at the thought that it might be fan mail. He rose from his bed and bounded downstairs.

It was bills.

Nine made a cuppa and sat down on the couch along with his mail, a pack of biscuits and the TV remote handy; he was ready to watch Ten strut his stuff. (He really needed to catch up, everyone else had finished this series already!) However, Nine nearly choked on the digestive he was swallowing as he watched Ten and Rose's heart warming reunion, Ten turning around with hope in his eyes to see Rose down the street grinning at him and looking as beautiful as ever. She began to run, so did he. Nine could barely watch, Ten so much like him but yet different, the two deserved to be reunited but he knew that a certain Mr Davies wouldn't let the reunion be as smooth as he'd like. He was proved right when Ten was shot by a Dalek. "What?" He exclaimed with a mouthful of biscuit. Ten wasn't supposed to regenerate now, he wasn't even home yet! Tea sat forgotten, Nine became enthralled with the TV blissfully ignoring the house phone that was ringing upstairs. (That would be his fathers asking for some sugar again.)

Later on in the episode Nine relaxed. Phew, Ten was okay. Even better there was a _clone_ of him. Two Ten's, Nine huffed. _He_ never got a clone.

…

Which was a good job actually. Rose kissing the human clone of Ten brought a surprising feeling of anger as he glared at the screen, watching the real Ten walk back to the TARDIS unnoticed. Nine took a gulp of cold tea, not noticing its temperature as his eyes stayed glued to the screen. "What the hell?" Said Nine to himself. "Seriously Russell, what the hell?" He was angry and a little hurt, but then he supposed Rose was happy now so…it couldn't be all bad and Ten still had Donna, right?

Wrong. The 'Doctor Donna' had to have her memories wiped, the poor woman, leaving Ten by himself yet again. Russell T. Davies was really pouring on the angst in a lot of Ten's episodes, what a really sad ending to what had been a very funny series. Tutting to himself Nine brushed the crumbs off his lap and went to put on the Special episode, the one with the weird Double Decker bus, on the DVD player. Which proved to also be full of angst, as well as the next Special when the Doctor was again left with no companion. The hurt just kept piling on .

Nine rolled his eyes. Sheesh.

But a part of him still felt sorry for Ten. The respect for this new version just grew, and kept on growing.

_xxx_

It was Christmas Eve. Nine was actually out of the house, shopping for presents. He'd finished all of Ten's Doctor Who episodes, no longer any need to stay as a couch potato, now he had to wait like everyone else for his last two. It was quite sad really, Nine wasn't much of a crier but he had a tissue box sat on the table at home just in case.

You may think that because he's the former, less popular, Doctor he has no one to shop for; but he does. Out of respect he is buying his old Fathers presents like, woolly socks or slippers. Even though they don't age, because they are stuck in the age they were on TV, it was good to keep an eye out for them as they may not be getting older but they're not getting any younger either. Nine was also thinking about buying the little boy, and his parents, next door a present out of kindness and for the fact that they were good neighbours.

The little country village was a bus ride away from a large town. So after getting off the bus, Nine headed towards a large toy shop called, 'Argos' it had everything he needed to buy in there. However, on the way there he heard a pitiful mewling over the Christmas music in the background, he looked around and didn't see anything. The snow covered ground didn't hold any secrets. So pulling his jacket tighter around him, as a breeze rolled by, Nine stepped forward; snow glistening his very short hair and tingeing his ears a very bright red. He heard the meow again, this time a little closer and on his right. Nine turned to look, there was a small alleyway littered with squashed cardboard boxes one of which was harbouring a small fluffy tail. He stepped closer and knelt down to look inside, and there sat a very small, fluffy, wet kitten shivering from the cold. It's fur was a mixture of black, brown and a slight tan colour; but it's belly was white and so were its paws. The kitten meowed again and turned to look at Nine with bright blue eyes, a hint of green hidden if he looked close enough. "Hello there." He said as he held his hand out. "I won't hurt you." He smiled softly, or at least he hoped it was a soft, reassuring smile. The kitten stared and mewled stepping towards him cautiously to sniff at his long fingers before giving them a quick rub.

Nine scratched behind one of the cat's ears and a purring sound replaced the meowing. He smiled, looks like he won't be quite so lonely anymore. He grabbed the cat gently around the middle and, unzipping his jacket, cuddled it to his chest before zipping the jacket back up. The cat meowed happily as Nine went about with his shopping, he didn't mind sharing the house he had more than enough room. He quickly purchased his gifts, the staff giving him an odd look when a meow came from his chest; he just grinned at them and shrugged before quickly escaping. Nine really didn't want to answer questions about why he had a cat in his jacket, because the cat could belong to someone; although he didn't see a collar. He tried not to worry about it and settled to finding a pet shop instead, which was a challenge in itself.

The Doctor, stumped by a large town. Hilarious.

Christmas Day morning was fun. Rose, the kitten, woke him up by tearing down all of his carefully decorated tinsel so he had to drag himself out of bed before she damaged herself more than anything else. Next, he had to make himself a cup of tea, it was too early for this, too early for anything. He sat on the couch looking at his small Christmas tree, a handful of presents sat underneath it, he'd received more than he'd hoped to get which warmed him a little. Buzzing with a strange pleasantness, Nine heard the doorbell and got up to answer it in his chequered pyjamas, it was the postman and he had a package for him. Nine smiled, thanked the man, wished him a Merry Christmas and escaped back into the warmth of his home. The package was quite large, soft and squishy. Nine was intrigued and sat down on the couch again, sipping his tea he ripped off the wrapping paper.

It was a blanket. Quite a big one too, and very fluffy. Nine was in awe as he stroked the soft material, it would definitely keep him warm. The design was quite odd but nice as well, the blanket itself was red and all over it was decorated with emerald green number nine's, the symbol for it (9) as well as the word. A card dropped to the floor, which Rose quickly attacked. Nine rescued the white rectangle and looked at it, _'To "Mr John Smith"' _it read, he took the card out of the envelope and stared at it for a few moments before belting out a laugh. It was in the shape of a TARDIS, with two little flaps on the front acting as doors, it also had 'Merry Christmas!' in bright red lettering written on it. On the inside was a message and a clue of who the sender could be, it read,

'_To 9, _

_I hope your day is out of this world!_

_Merry Christmas!_

_Love, 10 :]_

_Xx'_

Nine read it, and re read it and laughed all over again. This new Doctor he liked, it was a real shame Ten couldn't stay the Doctor forever. Rose meowed noisily, not very impressed with being ignored for so long, Nine sighed. "All right, I'll get you your breakfast." He rose from the couch and placed the card on his mantelpiece before going into the kitchen to prepare kitten food, then he had to wait for Doctor Who to play on BBC One.

It seemed like forever before BBC One declared Doctor Who was coming up next, Nine grinned to himself as he stroke Rose who laid asleep in his lap. He was wrapped up in his new blanket and nestling another cup of tea, with the TV remote and a box of tissues laying within arms reach. The opening started, and Nine nearly squealed.

It was time.

Nine didn't cry, but he was angry. How could they leave it there? With Ten worrying about the Master's return. He knew it was going to go very, very badly but Nine knew Ten could fix everything like he always did, he was a Doctor, _the _Doctor, like he had been. The world is at his feet and if he put his mind to it, he could accomplish anything, including saving the world from the Master, again. Overall it was a good episode, very good because of Ten's performance and the good storyline. But, Nine was still peeved, he'd become a Doctor Who addict and loved the show, and Ten in a totally straight way, and they go and leave one of the most important episodes with a _cliff-hanger_?

He needed to lie down.

So he did.

_xxx_

It had felt like a _century_ since the last episode of Doctor Who. And by the time New Years rolled around Nine was nearly killing himself in anticipation, he'd already spilt his tea down himself not to mention he nearly tripped over Rose in his haste to get to the couch. But here we are, Ten's last episode and Nine sat on the couch watching, his blanket wrapped around his legs to keep them warm. He was looking forward to the episode but also dreading the regeneration that he knew was going to happen, damn it. It began. There were versions of the Master _everywhere_, everyone replaced by the insanity of the man and Ten was in a lot of trouble and didn't have much help besides his new trusty sidekick. Donna's granddad, Nine liked the man a lot actually.

Witty lines, new companions, action scenes. It was like a brain overload, and Nine found he couldn't tear himself away from the TV even with Rose rubbing around his legs demanding attention or food, he wasn't sure which. Nine had to say he liked Wilfred's action scene when he was helping out Ten in a desperate attempt to prevent what was going to happen to him, the old man was loyal and kind and was handy with them laser guns on board that spaceship. And in turn, lending the Tenth Doctor his revolver before Ten leapt out of the ship and crashed through the roof of that building. Nine's heart was in his throat as the Doctor laid there bruised and scratched, the anticipation was killing him. But, Ten saved the world!

And then… it happened.

Ten laid there bewildered that he was alive, joy creeping up on his face as he began to relax in pure relief. Then came the prophecy,

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

Four knocks. All made by Wilfred who had been locked in the shielded chamber, by the Doctor, to be protected. Ten's face, that had looked so happy so joyful fell. It crashed into despair as he slowly got to his feet, he composed himself and turned to Wilfred, the reactor was going critical. And Nine knew, he just _knew, _what Ten was going to do he knows himself, he would of done it too. But a small part of him didn't want Ten to, Nine wanted him to stay, to be the Doctor, the only Doctor. But it was not meant to be, Nine sniffled as Ten screamed in agony at the radiation as he switched placed with Wilfred. Ten was in agony, writhing on the floor before all was still. He had his arms covering his head but it was still _him_ when he stood up and opened the door, still _him_ as Wilfred hugged him with gratitude and guilt. But Nine could see the signs, the age slipping from his face, the cuts and injuries he's received no longer on his face. Ten's hair was still a brown mop, and his eyes were still the same brown but Nine knew it was only a matter of time.

He leant forward grasping his knees, fingernails digging into the soft material of the blanket. No, he didn't want this, didn't want to see this. Nine didn't want Ten to became a washout, an old Doctor like he was. It just wasn't right. A tear fell when Ten forced himself to move, to stay the same as he went to see all his past companions. Give them all one last loving goodbye… Saving Martha and Mickey, saluting Jack and saluting Wilfred at Donna's wedding. Then finally, going back in time to see Rose literally broke Nine until he had to fight back tears, he was a strong, manly _Time Lord _god dammit!

The golden glow of regeneration as Ten stood in the TARDIS alone made Nine gulp hard. Ten stared at his glowing hand in a silent observation, a stoic look on his face, he was brave so brave. But then his outer façade cracked and his tears fell, he was in pain both physically and mentally, Nine was in shock and the kitten at his feet was even watching the TV as well. No longer meowing but instead watching the screen in wonder. The quiet words of, "I don't want to go." Made the kitten mewl loudly as golden light took over the screen, Nine's face wet with silent tear drops.

Eleven was even _younger. _His hair also brown but fluffier, a bigger mop. The suit looked out of place on him and it didn't look right at all, the inside of the TARDIS was set alight, flames burning its lovely interior as if in agreement. Like it didn't like its owner. Nine continued to stare at the stranger on the TV, he didn't like him he wanted Ten back.

A cough sounded out as the Doctor Who credits rolled. Nine's head snapped up towards the door as did Rose's as they both stared at the figure in the doorway, the man leant against the door frame. Posture casual, with his hands stuck in his suit pockets snow covering his mop of brown hair in little sparkles. Nine continued to stare, his brain not really processing properly enough to even talk to the man in the doorway, the man chuckled softly; more to himself than anyone else as he stood up straighter and took a step into the room. He took off his long brown coat, wet from the snow outside and slung it over one of the spare chairs near the door, covering Nine's own black leather jacket. The two coats mingling together. Rose meowed then and the man looked down with a small smile before looking up at nine sort of nervously before tilting his head to the side slightly and grinning like he'd won a prize, like he was _home. _(Which in a way he was.) The smile pulled one from Nine's own mouth as he leapt up from the couch and launched himself at the man in the brown suit.

"Welcome home Ten." He said warmly as he stepped back with a matching grin, they both laughed as they sat together on the couch.

"It's good to be here." Replied Ten as Nine suddenly remembered something. Leaning over he plucked up a present from down his side of the couch and handed it over to the younger Doctor, who stared in amazement at the Christmas wrapping paper. He looked up at Nine who nodded for him to go ahead.

Ten opened it, and laughed openly and freely, the sound so much better in real life than on the TV. Nine had also given Ten a blanket his also large and fluffy but decorated differently. The material of the blanket itself was emerald green, with small number ten symbols everywhere along with the word, just like his own. Both blankets matched as Ten wrapped it around his legs, smiling his thanks as they both leaned back into the couch, both content and comfortably warm.

They both sat in companionable silence, the TV a nice background noise . Nine grinned and turned to face Ten, "You know I don't like the new guy." Surprised, Ten also turned to look at the other Doctor, he grinned too and another laugh sounded out, this one louder and more joyful than the last. Nine joined in and swung an arm around Ten's shoulders as they laughed together, things were really going to be interesting nowadays.

Rose watched on in bafflement before deciding to join them on the couch.

Who knew Time Lords were couch potatoes?

_xxx_

Epilogue

A few years later on Christmas Day, Doctors Nine and Ten were sat on their couch once again watching TV. They were watching the end of Eleven's Christmas episode; with Rose, now a cat, curled around their ankles as they sat drinking hot chocolate. (Nine had no idea his younger self had such cooking skills.) It hadn't been a few minutes since the end of the episode when they heard the front door click shut and a tall, skinny man walk in covered with snow. He was wearing a tweed suit with a bowtie, and his hair was brown and very fluffy.

The two older Doctors turned towards the door. Ten smiled warmly up at Eleven, "Welcome." He said. "Come in." Eleven returned the smile and stepped into the room, he sat down in the only available place, a chair near the door he'd just walked through.

"Thanks." Eleven grinned but it faded when Nine glared at him. Eleven's mood faltered and Ten noticed the change,

"Don't mind him." Ten said as he indicated Nine beside him. Eleven nodded still unsure and a bit uncomfortable now. Ten shook his head, it was very odd being in a room with two versions of himself, one of which replaced him and the other who became his biggest, most protective, fan. Ten smiled warmly at Eleven, as the younger man fidgeted in the chair by himself. Ten indicated for him to come join the two Doctors sat on the couch, and he agreed.

The two shuffled up, Nine did it reluctantly, to make more room. Eleven squeezed in and Ten shared his blanket with him, "I think we need a bigger couch." Began Eleven as Ten laughed. But Nine, who was already annoyed, outright growled and wrapped a protective, if not possessive, arm around Ten.

"Don't replace my couch too." Nine said as he narrowed his eyes. Eleven laughed along with Ten who discreetly elbowed Nine in the side.

"We have a weird sense of humour." Ten said reassuringly, which was the truth, as Eleven began to feel more at home. This is when he noticed Rose curled up on the floor, still sleeping despite all the noise.

"Aw! What a lovely cat!" Eleven exclaimed. "I love cats!" Nine sat in silence surprised, and a little proud of his feline. Ten noticed the change in him and grinned,

"See?" He murmured. "He's good, like us." Nine grumbled to himself, his arm still around Ten's shoulders.

"I still don't like him." Nine whispered, Ten chuckled and laughed when Eleven stroked Rose and she let out a delightful meow. Ten turned his attention back to the forgotten TV.

He thought it'd be best to wait a while before giving Eleven his own blanket. Nine was very protective of his couch, and him.

But yes, they needed a bigger couch.

_xxx_

**A/N: Hope you liked it, leave me reviews if there was anything I need to change. Apologies if characters seemed OOC but it is a crack!fic. :] **

**Love you all! xx**


End file.
